Dylan

when i’m with you i feel whole, i feel like i can do anything. regardless of how long i’ve known you, i still get butterflies when i see you, the heart racing that occurs whenever i hear your name, its the best drug i could possibly experience. when your dad told you that i loved you, that was an understatement. anyone could say those words, but what leads up to them means everything.

a year ago, you popped back into my life and i’m not sure where i would be if you didn’t, or where you would be for that matter. in the middle of denny’s a friend mentioned my piercings, and your face lit up like a 5 year old on christmas morning, and again when i mentioned sword art online. seeing that look stopped my heart for a good 3 seconds and will never cease to. 

i didn’t see you much at your worst, but i saw you, and i hope i never see that again because it was the most heartbreaking sight i have ever seen. this past year has been unbelievably rough for you that i couldn’t  begin to imagine being in your shoes. after not seeing you for over a month, christmas eve came along and brought you to my house. you said you were sorry when you had nothing to be sorry for. all i wanted to do that night was make you stop hurting, but i couldn’t, and i’m so sorry for that. 

despite all of the lows, we’re still here. but the fear of losing you scares the shit out of me. the unfortunate part is i don’t really even have you. i worry about you constantly and yeah, your disappearing acts make me worry even more but i know deep down you’ll be okay. you keep saying that it wouldn’t be fair to me, but i don’t get why you can’t take a chance. if you have feelings for me, why not? it’s to the point where i don’t care if i have to wait another year because i don’t want anyone else. i want you and only you because you are the best thing that has ever happened to me. i’ve never felt this way about anyone. i thought i had been in love before but no, that was absolutely nothing compared to how i feel about you. i love you so much dylan, maybe one day you’ll see this and things will be different, but until then, i can’t bring myself to say it because i’m scared, i’m so scared and i think the truth is, you are too